Pizza companies in the UK have recorded an impressive profit despite the ongoing 'crunch'. The downturn in the economy has meant that people are eating out less and deciding to stay in and chow down on fat covered dough instead.
A noted scientist and xenophobe has stated that if this trend of eating such foods, which are high in saturated fat and drinking acidic, sugary, drinks continues then we are in serious danger of resembling "unholy bastard children of the Yanks and the Taffs".
When asked whether this was a real concern for the pizza industry, a wealthy Italian spokesman mentioned, between maniacal laughs:"As long as these chubby fucks can still muster the energy to pick up the phone with their greasy paws, we'll continue to shovel this shit down their fat necks."
Monday, 6 April 2009
Saturday, 4 April 2009
Right Royal Romance
Sigh. I guess on the flip side the Royals keep outdated modes of transport alive, like the horse and coach. They also give talentless hacks like Jilly Cooper something to write about and toffs somewhere to go with Polo. All Royal Families seem to have a joy of riding horses or vice versa in the case of Catherine the Great.
Charles also gives hope to every balding wing nut in the country with his marriage to Princess Diana. There is a feeling within this, quite rightly ostracised community, that they too can get it on with a shy beauty but learning from his mistakes and decide to talk to them and take them on holiday, just maybe not Paris.
The Royal Family seems able to keep the feet of celebrity firmly on the ground, Heather Mills and Steven Hawing aside. Otherwise glory seeking, rabidly attention seeking media whores will politely stand in line, bow/curtsey, uttering quiet pleasantries instead of drinking and swearing like a maniac as Princess Margaret has the floor on those occasions.
If it wasn’t for the Royal Family we would have a higher rate of unemployment in this country, forced to stand in the dole queue behind prima donnas like Judy Dench, Helen Mirren and Cate Blanchett.
There are associated jobs, which without such institutions such as the Royal family, would be obsolete such as being a butler. Such underlings would be living in bus stations for sure, helping vagrants pour their Blue Nun and meths. Without such a regal body willing to revel in imposing servitude, essentially bone idle slave traders, the domestic help market would surely be extinct like the dodo or Dodi.
Most importantly, the Queen gives my gran something to look forward to on Christmas day other than the relief of flatulence. The Queen’s Speech is like a slow death, which is what most pensioners can relate to in an instant. As soon as her majesty appears on screen it also reminds me it’s time to pull my own, paper, crown over my eyes and sleep until the New Year.
Tourists just love the Royal Family, lapping them up like crack fuelled, dehydrated, calves under bloated British bovine. They buy the hats, the flags, the t-shirts and take photographs more fervidly than paparazzi pursuing a limo into a tunnel, thus disseminating a stereotypical image of England around the world. This image is a lucrative one, meaning greater tourism and exports, helping to erect our limp economy.
Basically, unless there is a brave soul out there willing to massacre the Royals, we’re stuck with them. They’re part of our history and part of our immediate future, albeit as performing monkeys to entice gullible foreign trade.
I think the occasional racism is taken with a pinch of salt because it seems to be just ingrained within the family. If that wasn’t the case, we’d have been at war with China in the 80s after the Duke of Edinburgh’s incredible powers of subtlety.
Most of all, I like the way my gran looks at the TV, engrossed in the image of the Queen, someone with whom she has grown up with through the war period and subsequent years. She doesn’t listen to a word the wrinkled old tart is speaking of course. I think the Queen is just the one person my grandmother has seen, unfailing every year, almost since she was born. They’ve grown old together and the Queen symbolises life itself in perhaps a now unfamiliar world.
So give them some leeway, at least until my grandparents generation have passed, then it’s open season at Buckingham Palace. Stick a foxtail on each of their naked bodies and paint them red. Bind their wrists and ankles with gaffer tape and watch them bounce with panic into the woods. Load the shotguns, unleash the hounds and sound the bugles of a new era.
Charles also gives hope to every balding wing nut in the country with his marriage to Princess Diana. There is a feeling within this, quite rightly ostracised community, that they too can get it on with a shy beauty but learning from his mistakes and decide to talk to them and take them on holiday, just maybe not Paris.
The Royal Family seems able to keep the feet of celebrity firmly on the ground, Heather Mills and Steven Hawing aside. Otherwise glory seeking, rabidly attention seeking media whores will politely stand in line, bow/curtsey, uttering quiet pleasantries instead of drinking and swearing like a maniac as Princess Margaret has the floor on those occasions.
If it wasn’t for the Royal Family we would have a higher rate of unemployment in this country, forced to stand in the dole queue behind prima donnas like Judy Dench, Helen Mirren and Cate Blanchett.
There are associated jobs, which without such institutions such as the Royal family, would be obsolete such as being a butler. Such underlings would be living in bus stations for sure, helping vagrants pour their Blue Nun and meths. Without such a regal body willing to revel in imposing servitude, essentially bone idle slave traders, the domestic help market would surely be extinct like the dodo or Dodi.
Most importantly, the Queen gives my gran something to look forward to on Christmas day other than the relief of flatulence. The Queen’s Speech is like a slow death, which is what most pensioners can relate to in an instant. As soon as her majesty appears on screen it also reminds me it’s time to pull my own, paper, crown over my eyes and sleep until the New Year.
Tourists just love the Royal Family, lapping them up like crack fuelled, dehydrated, calves under bloated British bovine. They buy the hats, the flags, the t-shirts and take photographs more fervidly than paparazzi pursuing a limo into a tunnel, thus disseminating a stereotypical image of England around the world. This image is a lucrative one, meaning greater tourism and exports, helping to erect our limp economy.
Basically, unless there is a brave soul out there willing to massacre the Royals, we’re stuck with them. They’re part of our history and part of our immediate future, albeit as performing monkeys to entice gullible foreign trade.
I think the occasional racism is taken with a pinch of salt because it seems to be just ingrained within the family. If that wasn’t the case, we’d have been at war with China in the 80s after the Duke of Edinburgh’s incredible powers of subtlety.
Most of all, I like the way my gran looks at the TV, engrossed in the image of the Queen, someone with whom she has grown up with through the war period and subsequent years. She doesn’t listen to a word the wrinkled old tart is speaking of course. I think the Queen is just the one person my grandmother has seen, unfailing every year, almost since she was born. They’ve grown old together and the Queen symbolises life itself in perhaps a now unfamiliar world.
So give them some leeway, at least until my grandparents generation have passed, then it’s open season at Buckingham Palace. Stick a foxtail on each of their naked bodies and paint them red. Bind their wrists and ankles with gaffer tape and watch them bounce with panic into the woods. Load the shotguns, unleash the hounds and sound the bugles of a new era.
Thursday, 2 April 2009
Obama's wife has nothing on my Sarah!...
...ranted Gordon Brown recently or rather that should be, compared to Mrs Obama, Sarah Brown has nothing on!
Michelle Obama is the cover girl for the March edition of fashion magazine 'Vogue'. This will only be the second time an American First Lady has taken the place of a model on the front cover.
Not to miss a trick, Gordon Brown has insisted his wife Sarah be a cover girl too. 'Haggard MILFs' has been running for a few months now and has picked up a niche following. The average reader is said to be around 57 years of age, have one eye and be of Glaswegian origin.
Michelle Obama is the cover girl for the March edition of fashion magazine 'Vogue'. This will only be the second time an American First Lady has taken the place of a model on the front cover.
Not to miss a trick, Gordon Brown has insisted his wife Sarah be a cover girl too. 'Haggard MILFs' has been running for a few months now and has picked up a niche following. The average reader is said to be around 57 years of age, have one eye and be of Glaswegian origin.
Monday, 23 March 2009
Right Royal Revulsion
Now, I thought by now we had all got the message that racism was generally speaking, not good. Only last week though we were informed of the latest bit of playful racism spouted by Charlie and his ginger offspring. Ok, there’s some hereditary action here I suppose, with Prince Philip as a demented father and grandfather who’d make Hitler blush on occasion, so should we be surprised?
The Royal Family has become the last bastion for the committed racist outside of the BNP it seems sometimes. Apparently you can call someone ’Sooty’ then sweep it under the carpet and no one gets sued.
It’s all hypocrisy of course, as Jade Goody, temporary celebrity and self-styled porker was crucified over comments she spewed out which had racist connotations or at least they would have done if they could find timber strong enough. Not that it’s an excuse in the 21st century but the girl clearly had an education that started and ended with the Mr Men books. The Royals have no such excuse, always being educated at the finest establishments the country has to offer and when not feeling each other’s buttocks in dormitories they must’ve learnt something.
It’s all part of the bubble which the family live inside. They never get far without it catching up with them and drawing them back, much like in The Prisoner but they’re all escaped number twos. Prince Harry almost went to war but was pulled back on his baby harness because it was thought that he’d be singled out as a target. Good. He would’ve been the perfect decoy. Send Harry out into the desert with his beacon of ginger hair and draw fire; let the ‘boys’ get on with the random killing. We really missed a trick on that one. The only problem being that we would then have had to endure a minute’s silence every year and attempt to look solemn because someone who wears nazi uniforms for a jape and that we don’t really know died.
They just need to get out more. Charles notoriously talks to his plants and vegetables which no doubt improved relations between him and the Queen mum for a bit but it doesn’t do a lot for personal development.
Their role as ambassadors for this country always bemuses as well, as they can only relate to the inbred castles they scuttle around in, breeding like cockroaches and similar country’s infestations. We should send them out into space on a one-way ticket to greet any visiting aliens. This will but the little green men off visiting for good, which is a preferred scenario as Stephen Hawking believes that any visiting alien race would undoubtedly be unwelcome and be intent on dominating the world with their evil ways, possibly installing lots of staircases or something.
We could also do away with the National Anthem, which has to be one of the dullest songs ever penned. It’s the ditty you normally hear echoing round sports grounds by bald headed creatures that have just dragged their Doc Martins out of the primordial slime. I’d rather we pick any song by Celine Dione at random; it’s that bad. The verses blandly go on forever with only a deep, pained, intake of breath to punctuate each. In singing it, you feel like someone on their deathbed who has been refused the right to euthanasia.
The Queen seems harmless enough, I guess. So, God save the Queen but shoot a thunderbolt through the frontal cortex of the rest.
The Royal Family has become the last bastion for the committed racist outside of the BNP it seems sometimes. Apparently you can call someone ’Sooty’ then sweep it under the carpet and no one gets sued.
It’s all hypocrisy of course, as Jade Goody, temporary celebrity and self-styled porker was crucified over comments she spewed out which had racist connotations or at least they would have done if they could find timber strong enough. Not that it’s an excuse in the 21st century but the girl clearly had an education that started and ended with the Mr Men books. The Royals have no such excuse, always being educated at the finest establishments the country has to offer and when not feeling each other’s buttocks in dormitories they must’ve learnt something.
It’s all part of the bubble which the family live inside. They never get far without it catching up with them and drawing them back, much like in The Prisoner but they’re all escaped number twos. Prince Harry almost went to war but was pulled back on his baby harness because it was thought that he’d be singled out as a target. Good. He would’ve been the perfect decoy. Send Harry out into the desert with his beacon of ginger hair and draw fire; let the ‘boys’ get on with the random killing. We really missed a trick on that one. The only problem being that we would then have had to endure a minute’s silence every year and attempt to look solemn because someone who wears nazi uniforms for a jape and that we don’t really know died.
They just need to get out more. Charles notoriously talks to his plants and vegetables which no doubt improved relations between him and the Queen mum for a bit but it doesn’t do a lot for personal development.
Their role as ambassadors for this country always bemuses as well, as they can only relate to the inbred castles they scuttle around in, breeding like cockroaches and similar country’s infestations. We should send them out into space on a one-way ticket to greet any visiting aliens. This will but the little green men off visiting for good, which is a preferred scenario as Stephen Hawking believes that any visiting alien race would undoubtedly be unwelcome and be intent on dominating the world with their evil ways, possibly installing lots of staircases or something.
We could also do away with the National Anthem, which has to be one of the dullest songs ever penned. It’s the ditty you normally hear echoing round sports grounds by bald headed creatures that have just dragged their Doc Martins out of the primordial slime. I’d rather we pick any song by Celine Dione at random; it’s that bad. The verses blandly go on forever with only a deep, pained, intake of breath to punctuate each. In singing it, you feel like someone on their deathbed who has been refused the right to euthanasia.
The Queen seems harmless enough, I guess. So, God save the Queen but shoot a thunderbolt through the frontal cortex of the rest.
Monday, 9 February 2009
Just snow?!
Experts today have revealed a scientific fact to shock a nation after the recent weather onslaught. People have been informed that snow is actually just frozen precipitation and not a terraforming wonderland creator.
Apparently, one is not immediately transported to somewhere akin to Narnia. Especially, experts say, if you live somewhere like Dudley. Scientists have stated that you still live in a shithole, it's just got frozen water on it now. The general consensus is for people to "get over it, morons" and to stop playing in ice covered filth.
Apparently, one is not immediately transported to somewhere akin to Narnia. Especially, experts say, if you live somewhere like Dudley. Scientists have stated that you still live in a shithole, it's just got frozen water on it now. The general consensus is for people to "get over it, morons" and to stop playing in ice covered filth.
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Glory Hole in the Wall
Dale Winton, host of "Hole in the Wall", amongst other televisual works of genius, has declared today his love of "big juicy tits". The 53 year old added, "There's nothing I like more than milking a massive pair of swollen tits". His off the cuff comment soon turned into an indepth reveal of the exact size and milking techniques preferred by the tanned tit tugger.
His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI was said to be overjoyed at the news, confirming that he too enjoyed ogling "huge fat tits" quipping, "look but don't touch eh?" with a knowing wink. His Holy Father was said to be preparing a special celebrational service, right up to the point where Mr Winton asked "tits are the things under a cock right?".
His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI was said to be overjoyed at the news, confirming that he too enjoyed ogling "huge fat tits" quipping, "look but don't touch eh?" with a knowing wink. His Holy Father was said to be preparing a special celebrational service, right up to the point where Mr Winton asked "tits are the things under a cock right?".
Monday, 15 December 2008
Obama is black shocker.
Astonished voters woke this morning to an incredible revelation. Barack Obama is BLACK. Many of America's 'simple folk' feel duped and say that if Obama had released this information, previous to the election, their votes may well have gone the other way.
"He seemed like such a nice boy" said one woman laundering her white sheets. A mother and son/husband couple we talked to said they almost dropped the two bits of wood they were nailing together at the time "lil' Seymour here almost spilt his gasoline too".
"He seemed like such a nice boy" said one woman laundering her white sheets. A mother and son/husband couple we talked to said they almost dropped the two bits of wood they were nailing together at the time "lil' Seymour here almost spilt his gasoline too".
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Gastronomic bypass
One in three hospital patients is unhappy with the quality of food they receive, a recent survey suggests. A quarter of the 1,000 patients questioned by consumer charity “Which?” said they had to rely on relatives to bring them something edible. The other three quarters were unavailable for comment but would contribute to the survey if they get manage to get over their mysterious, recently acquired, bout of stomach pains and MRSA.
Friday, 21 November 2008
Skoolin
Big British brand names are coming up with creative ways of getting their products into schools. At Wisbech, in Cambridgeshire, pupils in a chemistry lesson are carrying out an experiment, involving dropping Mentos mints into a large plastic bottle of cola.
Teachers were reported to say that they were unaware of any direct influence the advertising had on their toothless, hyperactive, yet strangely fresh-breathed pupils.
The teaching of classic poetry in secondary schools is under threat, with English lessons being filled with lightweight verse and a limited selection of poems. Outraged Children's Laureate, Michael Rosen said “There once was a curriculum in this country, that let children neglect lovely poetry. At this rate they'll never wear cravats, mince around in pretentious hats, or masturbate over clouds under an oak tree.
Teachers were reported to say that they were unaware of any direct influence the advertising had on their toothless, hyperactive, yet strangely fresh-breathed pupils.
The teaching of classic poetry in secondary schools is under threat, with English lessons being filled with lightweight verse and a limited selection of poems. Outraged Children's Laureate, Michael Rosen said “There once was a curriculum in this country, that let children neglect lovely poetry. At this rate they'll never wear cravats, mince around in pretentious hats, or masturbate over clouds under an oak tree.
Friday, 24 October 2008
Oh Darling
The recession is here! It's official, the economy is shrinking. Alistair Darling says that "Hopefully it'll shrink so much that it will disappear and we'll hear no more about it. Naughty economy".
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
Bang for Your Buck
At least 5 billion is the estimated cost of colliding some particles in the Hadron Collider. This is so we can discover what happened after the "Big Bang". The results will no doubt be announced by orgasmic scientists and no one will doubt amongst the shower of juices that this was a worthwhile endeavour. Everything is apparently monitored by computers and invisible to the human eye so we have to take their word for it that anything even happened at all. They could be tin-foiling a big toilet roll tube, then off to the nearest Porsche dealer for all I know, announcing the experiment a "success" poolside in Barbados being olied by a harem of adulating nymphoids.
Isn't it more worth while to look at the end of the world instead. I mean I'm not into all that green shit at all, and by that I mean worthy environmental endeavour, but what happened at the beginning of the Universe was...was some stuff, then here we are in 2008, job done. I'd rather the people with white coats knew something about delaying the day our faces get burnt off.
Can these billions not be better spent anyway? After the scientists reveal the results, the public should be asking "That's great and how's the news on Cancer and AIDS there?" Response-"blimey is that the time? is my mic cutting out? what was that? a phone call for me?"
Isn't it more worth while to look at the end of the world instead. I mean I'm not into all that green shit at all, and by that I mean worthy environmental endeavour, but what happened at the beginning of the Universe was...was some stuff, then here we are in 2008, job done. I'd rather the people with white coats knew something about delaying the day our faces get burnt off.
Can these billions not be better spent anyway? After the scientists reveal the results, the public should be asking "That's great and how's the news on Cancer and AIDS there?" Response-"blimey is that the time? is my mic cutting out? what was that? a phone call for me?"
Tuesday, 9 September 2008
Flushing Meadows and toilets...
...as another chance disappears down the pan. Andy Murray, professional grump and occasional tennis player bows out of the US Open final. Federer out-classed his opponent, initially in the dresssing room with his initialled pants then later on the court. Murray maintains his place on the list of deseprate British under-achievers.
No doubt the jug-eared wonder Tim Henman watched on with jealous eyes (and flapping ears). At Wimbleon we have the constant reminder of Britain's under achievement with the naming of "Henman Hill". They named a hill after him and he didn't even come second, only reaching the semi finals, how desperate is that? There is also an element of male pride here as Virginia Wade who actually won the damn thing hasn't even got a toilet named after her...or a tea-maker, The Wade-Maid, "serving" up the best tea in town.
No, Murray lost out on a Grand Slam meaning not since Fred Perry has a British tennis player won such an event. Maybe one day Murray can have his own clothing range to be taken up by Far Right youths too. The Murray brand white hood and burning cross? Who knows? Of course the main conjecture about race on this one is when someone is deemed Scottish and when British. In the English press today Murray returned to being a Scot for the time being.
No doubt the jug-eared wonder Tim Henman watched on with jealous eyes (and flapping ears). At Wimbleon we have the constant reminder of Britain's under achievement with the naming of "Henman Hill". They named a hill after him and he didn't even come second, only reaching the semi finals, how desperate is that? There is also an element of male pride here as Virginia Wade who actually won the damn thing hasn't even got a toilet named after her...or a tea-maker, The Wade-Maid, "serving" up the best tea in town.
No, Murray lost out on a Grand Slam meaning not since Fred Perry has a British tennis player won such an event. Maybe one day Murray can have his own clothing range to be taken up by Far Right youths too. The Murray brand white hood and burning cross? Who knows? Of course the main conjecture about race on this one is when someone is deemed Scottish and when British. In the English press today Murray returned to being a Scot for the time being.
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
McCain or Wayne?
Well President Bonzo Bush has told delegates that Mr McCain was "a great American and the next president". Now despite the detriment of having such a poor referee McCain has started to gain further ground.
Bonzo described John as being ready to make the tough decisions needed in a "dangerous world" and that John McCain's life has prepared him to make "those choices". These appear to be euphenisms for McCain's ability to carry on the mayhem where Bonzo left off, he just needs to pop on the blindfold, put the pin in the map and scramble the bombers. You kind of get the feeling that in just a few short years we'll be watching big John evading questions on just why the troops invaded Sweden.
In addition, Sarah Palin his running mate and potential vice president, has ackowledged that fact that her 17 year old unmarried daughter is pregnant. Not only does this guy love the smell of napalm in the morning, he also knows women who put-out. Is there really any stopping him now?
Bonzo described John as being ready to make the tough decisions needed in a "dangerous world" and that John McCain's life has prepared him to make "those choices". These appear to be euphenisms for McCain's ability to carry on the mayhem where Bonzo left off, he just needs to pop on the blindfold, put the pin in the map and scramble the bombers. You kind of get the feeling that in just a few short years we'll be watching big John evading questions on just why the troops invaded Sweden.
In addition, Sarah Palin his running mate and potential vice president, has ackowledged that fact that her 17 year old unmarried daughter is pregnant. Not only does this guy love the smell of napalm in the morning, he also knows women who put-out. Is there really any stopping him now?
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
Bedtime for Bonzo.
I read today that Jude Law has been out in Afghanistan solving the world's problems. He's selling "World Peace Day" or something. Good on him, trying to blend in with the rest of the invasion committee, sporting an army haircut, a good grade 2, which is apt given he's now a second rate actor.
The remit for actor/entertainer has changed considerably since the days of Bob Hope. No need to entertain the troops, they're too occupied trying to figure out what the hell they're doing in the desert halfway across the world to really concentrate on golf swing gags. Nowadays you just need a small private jet with enough room for you, your soapbox and possibly a spare seat in case Bono gets wind of your endeavour (he can smell the suffering of mankind from his luxury apartment, anywhere in the world).
Clooney is, of course, a UN peace messenger as well. If only Bin Laden was a gullible woman or a bearded gay man we'd have the terrorists carpet bombed by charm offensives and bent submissive in seconds. I do find his so called charm very offensive too. It's like a slowly creeping oil, exuded into the camera lens, from his slick grey hair and the holier than thou smile/eyebrow lift combination. I feel George would ideally start and end every sentence with "God damn I'm good looking" if he could get away with it.
Reagan set this precedent of course, in becoming President. He acted with a monkey and then became a senile political junky. Twelve years after Ronald it was the monkey's turn.
Schwazenegger has given it a go, but ultimately the fans/voters just aren't buying it. If he turned up everyday with an Oozi nine millimetre he'd be more believable, the real deal, what they were expecting, not to mention the right attitude for the job remit. Being born in Austria is potentially problematic for a leader of men in another country, as my Jewish friend confirms.
Now it's Obama and MCain. I've been to America and experienced the general attitude and it can make the days of the British Empire seem forward thinking. A black man or a woman in the "White" House? only if he/she really gets those sideboards clean.
Well, the woman has been dispatched so now it's up to Obama but he has a fight on, for sure. He's up against John Sidney MCain III, and we know how Americans like a sequel. This guy actually bombed the NVA. There should be Americans out there at the ballots finding it difficult to get the boxes ticked due to uncontrollable drool (and the need to find somewhere to rest their artillery). Yet unlike the chips [fries] of his namesake company, MCain is much more than 5% fat and physically impaired by torture as a POW. He's allegedly quick tempered and he'd probably want the troops out of Iraq too...just redeployed to Vietnam; finish the job. Obama is leaner, fitter, more liberal, he wants the troops out for real, a college boy, a certifiable geek. Are Americans ready for this? Surely, there are still too many John Wayne films in circulation. Obama needs to take a leaf out of Putin's book who shot a tiger in the jungle today. Barack would be standing on a new rug in the Oval Office before you could quote the 2nd Amendment.
At least whatever happens we can finally say goodnight to Bonzo .
The remit for actor/entertainer has changed considerably since the days of Bob Hope. No need to entertain the troops, they're too occupied trying to figure out what the hell they're doing in the desert halfway across the world to really concentrate on golf swing gags. Nowadays you just need a small private jet with enough room for you, your soapbox and possibly a spare seat in case Bono gets wind of your endeavour (he can smell the suffering of mankind from his luxury apartment, anywhere in the world).
Clooney is, of course, a UN peace messenger as well. If only Bin Laden was a gullible woman or a bearded gay man we'd have the terrorists carpet bombed by charm offensives and bent submissive in seconds. I do find his so called charm very offensive too. It's like a slowly creeping oil, exuded into the camera lens, from his slick grey hair and the holier than thou smile/eyebrow lift combination. I feel George would ideally start and end every sentence with "God damn I'm good looking" if he could get away with it.
Reagan set this precedent of course, in becoming President. He acted with a monkey and then became a senile political junky. Twelve years after Ronald it was the monkey's turn.
Schwazenegger has given it a go, but ultimately the fans/voters just aren't buying it. If he turned up everyday with an Oozi nine millimetre he'd be more believable, the real deal, what they were expecting, not to mention the right attitude for the job remit. Being born in Austria is potentially problematic for a leader of men in another country, as my Jewish friend confirms.
Now it's Obama and MCain. I've been to America and experienced the general attitude and it can make the days of the British Empire seem forward thinking. A black man or a woman in the "White" House? only if he/she really gets those sideboards clean.
Well, the woman has been dispatched so now it's up to Obama but he has a fight on, for sure. He's up against John Sidney MCain III, and we know how Americans like a sequel. This guy actually bombed the NVA. There should be Americans out there at the ballots finding it difficult to get the boxes ticked due to uncontrollable drool (and the need to find somewhere to rest their artillery). Yet unlike the chips [fries] of his namesake company, MCain is much more than 5% fat and physically impaired by torture as a POW. He's allegedly quick tempered and he'd probably want the troops out of Iraq too...just redeployed to Vietnam; finish the job. Obama is leaner, fitter, more liberal, he wants the troops out for real, a college boy, a certifiable geek. Are Americans ready for this? Surely, there are still too many John Wayne films in circulation. Obama needs to take a leaf out of Putin's book who shot a tiger in the jungle today. Barack would be standing on a new rug in the Oval Office before you could quote the 2nd Amendment.
At least whatever happens we can finally say goodnight to Bonzo .
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