Monday, 9 February 2009

Just snow?!

Experts today have revealed a scientific fact to shock a nation after the recent weather onslaught. People have been informed that snow is actually just frozen precipitation and not a terraforming wonderland creator.
Apparently, one is not immediately transported to somewhere akin to Narnia. Especially, experts say, if you live somewhere like Dudley. Scientists have stated that you still live in a shithole, it's just got frozen water on it now. The general consensus is for people to "get over it, morons" and to stop playing in ice covered filth.

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Glory Hole in the Wall

Dale Winton, host of "Hole in the Wall", amongst other televisual works of genius, has declared today his love of "big juicy tits". The 53 year old added, "There's nothing I like more than milking a massive pair of swollen tits". His off the cuff comment soon turned into an indepth reveal of the exact size and milking techniques preferred by the tanned tit tugger.

His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI was said to be overjoyed at the news, confirming that he too enjoyed ogling "huge fat tits" quipping, "look but don't touch eh?" with a knowing wink. His Holy Father was said to be preparing a special celebrational service, right up to the point where Mr Winton asked "tits are the things under a cock right?".