Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Gastronomic bypass

One in three hospital patients is unhappy with the quality of food they receive, a recent survey suggests. A quarter of the 1,000 patients questioned by consumer charity “Which?” said they had to rely on relatives to bring them something edible. The other three quarters were unavailable for comment but would contribute to the survey if they get manage to get over their mysterious, recently acquired, bout of stomach pains and MRSA.

Friday, 21 November 2008


Big British brand names are coming up with creative ways of getting their products into schools. At Wisbech, in Cambridgeshire, pupils in a chemistry lesson are carrying out an experiment, involving dropping Mentos mints into a large plastic bottle of cola.
Teachers were reported to say that they were unaware of any direct influence the advertising had on their toothless, hyperactive, yet strangely fresh-breathed pupils.

The teaching of classic poetry in secondary schools is under threat, with English lessons being filled with lightweight verse and a limited selection of poems. Outraged Children's Laureate, Michael Rosen said “There once was a curriculum in this country, that let children neglect lovely poetry. At this rate they'll never wear cravats, mince around in pretentious hats, or masturbate over clouds under an oak tree.