Big British brand names are coming up with creative ways of getting their products into schools. At Wisbech, in Cambridgeshire, pupils in a chemistry lesson are carrying out an experiment, involving dropping Mentos mints into a large plastic bottle of cola.
Teachers were reported to say that they were unaware of any direct influence the advertising had on their toothless, hyperactive, yet strangely fresh-breathed pupils.
The teaching of classic poetry in secondary schools is under threat, with English lessons being filled with lightweight verse and a limited selection of poems. Outraged Children's Laureate, Michael Rosen said “There once was a curriculum in this country, that let children neglect lovely poetry. At this rate they'll never wear cravats, mince around in pretentious hats, or masturbate over clouds under an oak tree.