Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Bang for Your Buck

At least 5 billion is the estimated cost of colliding some particles in the Hadron Collider. This is so we can discover what happened after the "Big Bang". The results will no doubt be announced by orgasmic scientists and no one will doubt amongst the shower of juices that this was a worthwhile endeavour. Everything is apparently monitored by computers and invisible to the human eye so we have to take their word for it that anything even happened at all. They could be tin-foiling a big toilet roll tube, then off to the nearest Porsche dealer for all I know, announcing the experiment a "success" poolside in Barbados being olied by a harem of adulating nymphoids.

Isn't it more worth while to look at the end of the world instead. I mean I'm not into all that green shit at all, and by that I mean worthy environmental endeavour, but what happened at the beginning of the Universe was...was some stuff, then here we are in 2008, job done. I'd rather the people with white coats knew something about delaying the day our faces get burnt off.

Can these billions not be better spent anyway? After the scientists reveal the results, the public should be asking "That's great and how's the news on Cancer and AIDS there?" Response-"blimey is that the time? is my mic cutting out? what was that? a phone call for me?"

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