Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Bedtime for Bonzo.

I read today that Jude Law has been out in Afghanistan solving the world's problems. He's selling "World Peace Day" or something. Good on him, trying to blend in with the rest of the invasion committee, sporting an army haircut, a good grade 2, which is apt given he's now a second rate actor.
The remit for actor/entertainer has changed considerably since the days of Bob Hope. No need to entertain the troops, they're too occupied trying to figure out what the hell they're doing in the desert halfway across the world to really concentrate on golf swing gags. Nowadays you just need a small private jet with enough room for you, your soapbox and possibly a spare seat in case Bono gets wind of your endeavour (he can smell the suffering of mankind from his luxury apartment, anywhere in the world).
Clooney is, of course, a UN peace messenger as well. If only Bin Laden was a gullible woman or a bearded gay man we'd have the terrorists carpet bombed by charm offensives and bent submissive in seconds. I do find his so called charm very offensive too. It's like a slowly creeping oil, exuded into the camera lens, from his slick grey hair and the holier than thou smile/eyebrow lift combination. I feel George would ideally start and end every sentence with "God damn I'm good looking" if he could get away with it.
Reagan set this precedent of course, in becoming President. He acted with a monkey and then became a senile political junky. Twelve years after Ronald it was the monkey's turn.
Schwazenegger has given it a go, but ultimately the fans/voters just aren't buying it. If he turned up everyday with an Oozi nine millimetre he'd be more believable, the real deal, what they were expecting, not to mention the right attitude for the job remit. Being born in Austria is potentially problematic for a leader of men in another country, as my Jewish friend confirms.

Now it's Obama and MCain. I've been to America and experienced the general attitude and it can make the days of the British Empire seem forward thinking. A black man or a woman in the "White" House? only if he/she really gets those sideboards clean.
Well, the woman has been dispatched so now it's up to Obama but he has a fight on, for sure. He's up against John Sidney MCain III, and we know how Americans like a sequel. This guy actually bombed the NVA. There should be Americans out there at the ballots finding it difficult to get the boxes ticked due to uncontrollable drool (and the need to find somewhere to rest their artillery). Yet unlike the chips [fries] of his namesake company, MCain is much more than 5% fat and physically impaired by torture as a POW. He's allegedly quick tempered and he'd probably want the troops out of Iraq too...just redeployed to Vietnam; finish the job. Obama is leaner, fitter, more liberal, he wants the troops out for real, a college boy, a certifiable geek. Are Americans ready for this? Surely, there are still too many John Wayne films in circulation. Obama needs to take a leaf out of Putin's book who shot a tiger in the jungle today. Barack would be standing on a new rug in the Oval Office before you could quote the 2nd Amendment.

At least whatever happens we can finally say goodnight to Bonzo .

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